This site, by the very nature of its subject matter, is no laughing matter. But even the most terrible tragedy has some comic relief. Nick has a wicked, dry wit, and can crack jokes even under the greatest pressure. So he’d appreciate me giving a little “time out” to show you something that, now that I look back on it, is absolutely hilarious.

You may remember the publication Weekly World Digest, which was sold mostly at supermarket check-out lines and newspaper stands. It was a black and white rag that was even worse than a tabloid, because tabloids at least attempt to convey something like the truth (they have to, it’s illegal not to…). Weekly World Digest preferred to tell tales of babies born with bat wings, demons possessing ball machines at church bingo nights, vampires feeding off the First Lady, etc. All of these stories were accompanied by usually terribly unconvincing photoshopped pictures – ringing any bells now? Unfortunately, Weekly World Digest went out of business, so I can’t link you to a web site with samples. But I’m sure it’s well logged in the annals of most people’s memories.

Well, Weekly World Digest got wind of the aftermath of the Memorial Day Rose Red trip and printed what may have been the only WWD feature ever to have some basis in reality, even if the details in their version are – to say the least – highly inventive.

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That title sounds rather “Gandalf-ish”, doesn’t it?

My regular readers at the old site always loved a good mystery, and I finally have one for you on this new site. I’ve made mention of paranormal activity on the increase for those involved in the Rose Red expedition and here on the TechStar property but I haven’t really taken time to explain. I will soon, I promise. But for now, I’m a bit distracted by this.

I came home from a lunch meeting with a local magazine editor to contract some book reviews (there’s no rest for writers, not even on Saturdays) and found my kitchen counters almost entirely covered in a thick substance as clear as water but more sticky, almost the consistency of cough syrup with a little gelatin added in. I know I’m not doing a very good job explaining it…

The first thing it brought to mind was that scene from Ghostbusters with the eggs frying on the counter. (Nick would laugh at that.) But the second thing it brought to mind was the one ectoplasm shot they did in the miniseries based on the Rose Red events (if you recall, it lands on Bollinger’s shoulder before he’s hoisted into the house). Ectoplasm has hardly ever been reported in Rose Red, but the caretaker did once find the dead plants in the solarium coated in a substance he thought looked like dew, only clinging even thicker to the branches and weeds. (Continue reading…)

Sophia Dorothea was a slave ship built in the shipyard on the Deptford Strand in Greenwich, England, in the year 1725. Her purpose was simple: abduct African men, women, and children; shackle them by the hands, ankles, and neck in a small berth resembling a coffin, and leave them there to agonize over the torture of sea travel without fresh air or fresh water, possessing no sanitation, and barely enough food. She carried these abducted Africans, soon to be slaves, to the Indies – where those who survived the journey would mostly settle in Jamaica to do the immensely dangerous job of refining sugar cane into sugar.

Sophia Dorothea (named after the wife of the King in reign when the ship was constructed, George I) was a highly successful ship. She was built fast and sturdy enough to withstand the weather one comes to expect of that route of voyage. For three decades she ferried slaves back and forth, then was sold to another owner. He did some minimal repairs and sailed her again for the same task. By the end of the 18th century the Sophia Dorothea continued in service. When docked it reeked of death, human waste, and blood so badly that it would choke passers by.

For each and every Wonder of the World an equal and most nefarious Evil of the World stands opposite. [...] Of these, none is more terrible to behold than the Sophia Dorothea, docked yesterday for a fortnight leave for crew and allowance of provision stocking. One needs not stand at dockside to know the Sophia Dorothea is in port, the smell of her gags the strongest men even at distance. It is such that merely to experience the smell once will ever churn one’s bile at the mere mention of her name. Surely no more potent a charm can be cast in favor of William Wilberforce’s yearly bill to abolish the trade of slaves. (H.L. Hubry, London Evening Post, 1791)

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